Dear Dad

I'm getting married this summer.  My pops won't physically be there although his memory will.  We will be sure to honor him.  He won’t be in my wedding pictures, but the American flag that draped his coffin will have its own chair.  At the front.

Tomorrow is dad's birthday and I wonder what advice he'd have for me or if he'd crack up at how many donuts I've been eating lately.  Would he say things like, “I’m only letting you marry him because his vinyl collection is impressive” or “that’s the boy I picked out for you, but neither one of you was ready until now.”  I wonder if we’d dance the father daughter dance and mosh instead of slow dance because neither one of us could move those feet or sway those hips.  Or would he have taught me.  How to dance.

I've never considered myself a military kid because I think my father and I rebelled against the military in our own ways, but this is what it is to lose your daddy to that.  I am forever proud of my father for more than just an insignia. He is not a rank to me.  He is my dad.  He is my dad who now resides in heaven and not on the westside.  Anymore.

Daddy, I don’t get to walk with you down the aisle, but Tio Tavo said he would do me the honor.  I wonder if you set it up this way.  That a few years ago I would meet him (your brother) for the first time because you knew that this day would come and you’d want him to walk with me.  Thank you.  I love you and I miss you.  Everyday.